The Dance of Life
by LaLumacca
Summary: [Modern P&P]I'm not yet sure where this is going...!


_A/N: I didn't change anything really, only the names. It's still Ben, but she'll keep Elizabeth Bennet as real name. For our hero – I changed Fritz into Liam, as in short for William, decided he could keep the Darcy, even though I despise the name. But I've heard that it was somewhat irritating, and I can see why. So all of you who have read it already: no need to reread, just keep in mind I changed the names. _

_Enjoy!_

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**The Dance of Life**

The doorbell rang. Ben just came out of the shower. She felt horrible still - since weeks.

Naked she ran to the intercom, pressed a button and said "Third floor, door number 15 at the very end of the hallway!", then another button, she heard a click as the front door opened.

Back in the bathroom she swung a big towel around her waist, taking an even bigger one to snuggle around her shoulders. A knock on the door.

She opened, expecting the pizza she had ordered, but stopped shocked as she recognised who was standing there, even with pizza in hand. Liam. William Darcy, her former boyfriend, affair, nearly fiancé, father of her future child, her whatever.

"Here is your pizza. I met the deliveryman and took it in for you, since I wanted to see you anyway." Liam started talking; gladly he had something to say. Hell was he nervous. He had neither seen nor spoken to her since their fight, no, more like his accusations. She had left that same hour.

Ben kept staring at him, not knowing what to do. She didn't want to see him. A hundred thought were crossing her mind. He was the cause she had been terrible throughout the last one and half months.

She was so occupied with holding in her emotions and at the same time figuring out what to do, she didn't even realize she was shivering that badly.

"Hey, you're shivering. It's cold out here. We should go inside." He said with his caring voice.

Hesitantly she gave free the entrance to her living room. While recollecting herself, she showed him in and asked him to take a seat. She excused herself as she looked down at her towels to go change.

Liam took a good look at the flat, to see what had changed. A lot. It was a mess. There were towels and bits of clothing scattered all over the floor. Papers and folders piled on the little table, and the even the kitchen counter was covered with leftover pizza, and other delivered fast food. It worried him that it looked that bad. He knew she had always been a little messy, but he never thought she would let herself down that badly.

She came down only minutes later in jeans and a baggy sweater. She had transformed form the emotionally cracked, insecure girl into the self-confident, even cold Ben she was when she didn't want anyone to see how she really felt.

Liam sat on the sofa, nervously shifting around, his eyes fixed on her.

Looking straight at him she asked "So, what is it you want?"

"Talk to you." Came the quiet reply from a small Liam.

"What about?" Ben asked as if interrogating Liam.

He stood up and started pacing the room. After some time he started talking. "Look… um; I'm sorry about what happened. I was wrong.… I know you never wanted to abandon my kids." He paused and as he wanted to start up again, Ben was faster.

"How come you changed your mind? I thought I was just a "fortune-hunter as all the others". Oh and wasn't it I who "didn't respect your desires"?" she stated coolly, while turning to the window.

"Ben…" he struggled with words. "Ben, I am sorry, I know I made a mistake, I know I was wrong, I want to apologise." He waited for her to say something, when she didn't he started up again. "Please Ben forgive me, I…" again he didn't know how to proceed. Desperately looking for words he searched the room for hints. His gaze fell on a folder lying on top of a pile; it read _Tips for single mothers. (i)_

"Wha… what is this?… I mean are …are you …are you pregnant? ..." started Liam in surprise, but at his words she abruptly turned and cut him short.

"Stop!" she paused shortly to think how she could tell him "Look, listen to me…" and as she saw him opening his mouth she added in hast "… and don't interrupt, just… just listen. Okay?" He nodded hesitantly.

Then she started "Yes I am pregnant. I know what you think now, when was I going to tell you or was I ever. I… I don't know. I… um… When you accused me that I wanted to get rid of your children, something broke inside me. I tried to tell you it wasn't the way you put it, that in fact I love Amelia and Greg and I would never want them to go to boarding school and surly not at that young age. You didn't listen, you didn't believe me… that was it. I felt broken, you did not trust me, not believe me, and not know me for that."

She paused taking a look at Liam who had been getting smaller and smaller because of guilt.

"You know, or actually I'm not sure I ever told you, but …um… I've never had a relationship as serous as this. It wasn't easy to go that far with a person, with you. I had one night stands and even saw some guys for a few weeks, but I never really loved someone, I never even thought about moving in with someone before, I never felt responsibility for a someone besides my family, or even your kids." She turned to look at him and keeping her eyes on him she continued. "Firtz, do you have any idea how I felt, do you have the faintest idea what it is like when you find out that the person most dear to you, believes a Caroline Bingley more than you? I guess not. And that is not the only reason why I have been miserable."

She walked to the fridge. "Do you remember the one night; it was after you had gone back to New Haven when we had our first fight here… after you told me you were the father of two? It was late September and we met by chance in New York, some club or other, you were there with Charles and Caroline, I with Jane and Char. I remember how I longed for you that time and how happy I was to see you."

Liam could see the hint of joy in Ben's expression as she got out some mineral water and two glasses. She motioned toward the bottle in her hand, he nodded, she poured two glasses and after taking a sip from hers, she put the other on the counter and leaned on the oven.

"You asked me to dance, and only a few dances later we excused ourselves and went to your apartment. I still remember Caroline's dead glares at me." She let out a little laugh. And only this one laugh - gorgeous laugh - sent a shiver of joy down his spine, to see her lighten up.

"You were crazy about me, couldn't even wait to rip off my clothes till we were at your apartment, you started to undressed me in your car - I still can't figure out why you go around Brooklyn by car - we were both have naked when we got out of the car. … We were so desperate, we forgot to use protection. The only time ever… the only time we were not careful. I didn't know until a week after I left you. I was already in the third month, so abortion was no option, I don't think I could have done it anyway. I was surprised I hadn't found out earlier, but I guess it was just all the stress that came up with you and Caroline, and then the promotion."

Liam looked up in surprise.

"I guess I never told you I was promoted. It meant a lot to me and I was waiting for the right moment, it never came. I'm leading the politic section of the _Mich(ii)_ now, which means a lot more work for me, but also more money, which will be useful once I'm not alone any more, and responsible for a kid. The job is all that kept me alive that last month. And what you see here, by the way sorry for the mess, is the result of a lot of work, the moods of a pregnant woman, and not expecting visitors."

That's where she stopped talking and starting to clean up.

Liam had gone through all kind of emotions. In the beginning he was mostly shocked, then he had tried to figure out if he could see her belly, some hint for her pregnancy. But the big sweater hid it well.

Then, when she talked of their relationship and how it had ended, he felt guilty. He knew he should have believed her and not Caroline. She was the one who told him about the Letters she claimed she had seen on Ben's desk, but had put them there herself. They were letters from boarding schools. Caroline made him think Ben wanted Amelia and Greg to go there, so she had Liam to herself. He had found out about it when he looked over them again two weeks after Ben had left. The address on the envelope was what gave it away. The name read Elizabeth Bennet, but the address was Caroline's.

When she described the night in September he was overjoyed. That was one night full of tension, they were so happy together, it was the moment he decided to ask her to merry him.

But the promotion was a surprise. She had written for the _Mich_for some years now and had hoped she'd finally take over the politics section, but it never looked like that would be any time soon. She was well qualified for it, she had studies journalism and international politics on the side, and she had always had her own opinion and able to discuss it.

And then there was the mess. He didn't quite believe it was only work and moods, or maybe moods, but he thought she was seriously letting herself down because she was miserable and not able to take care of her self well enough. He was seriously worried. And he still loved her. He wanted to hug her and take her with him. He didn't want her to have to go through her pregnancy all by her own. He wanted to be there when their child grew up, for her and the child. He knew what it meant to bring up a child, actually two, on his own. He wanted o care for her and the baby; he wanted her to be happy, them to be a family.

He knew though that it wouldn't be easy to convince her to come back, convince that she could trust him. She was a tough women, had always been.

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_A/N: So this is my first FanFic, just so you know. I don't have a beta-reader yet, so if anyone would like to, pleaz tell my! Also if you find any mistakes, either tell me, or if you're too lazy... then you'll have to live with it! _

_Now to all of those who haven't read my profile... I'm Austrian, so English ain't my first language, kinda justifying my mistakes! lol_

_Um... I don't really know what I'm gonna do with this piece, this scene just occupied my mind for a little while and so I wrote it down. I have many different ideas what I could do with it, where I could add on. First I was thinking of a one shot, but I think it has too many open questions, and not enough P&P character. I was thinking to either (1) go on from here and slowly role up the past with back sights and that stuff, or (2) make this one the Prologue and then start earlier when they first met. I just know I'm not going to stick to the plot all that much._

_One more thing, cuz I have been thinking about the names. So I wanted the to be called different, cuz I think the reader shouldn't connect the too much to the characters of the novel. I have kind of a tic to have girls with boys names, so that's where Ben comes from, and there will be explanations for theire names and that. But I was thinking of some real first name, which would also justify their change. So maybe I'll change that later on, and if you have any suggestions, you know where the blue button is!_

_Tell me what you think I should do, or if you have other ideas. Also what you think of my writing and all... so pleaz review!_

_Tanks all of you for reading,_

_LaLum_

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_And here the Disclaimer (for all chapters, that might follow): Noooo, I too don't own P&P and the characters, though I changed them and their names a little. And also some of the places really exist. One other disclaimer... i took one detail from "Der Neue Nachbar" by Bezzy (If you read this, i hope you don't mind!), the thing with Elizabeth/Ben being accused to want to send the kids to boarding school, and also that she is pregnant when they meet the next time._

(i)_Tips for single mothers: _It's made up and doesn't exist.

(ii) _Mich_Made up, supposed to be a rather liberal paper and medium important/successful.


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